I was at dinner with my friends from OralDNA Labs — Amanda and Diane — talking about stories from my book Undeniable Hospitality.
Little did we know, we were about to live one.
The setting was spectacular — the kind of architectural beauty you might expect in the Museum of Modern Art. Elegant. Minimal. Intentional.
But ambiance alone doesn’t create magic.
The servers were polished. Smiling. Attentive. I did notice that no one introduced themselves by name — a miss in my world, because names create connection. Still, nothing felt extraordinary.
At first.
They asked if it was a special occasion.
I told them my friends were visiting from Minnesota and I wanted them to experience New York’s finest.
A few minutes later, our server returned — not with food, but with small printed menus.
“Since this will be memorable,” she said, “perhaps this will help you remember it.”
Anticipation.
The tasting menu began. The second course — their signature egg on egg on egg — was sublime. Halfway through, I casually said, almost to myself, “I wish there were more toast to soak up this egg and caviar.”
Within what felt like seconds, a plate of toast appeared.
“How did they know?”
Later, I took a sip of water. “Oh, that’s sparkling. I prefer still.”
Moments later, my glass was replaced — apology included.
Again: “How did they know?”
At one point I joked about a hidden microphone under the table. The captain gave a slightly sinister laugh — just enough to preserve the illusion.
Then dessert arrived — along with a small cake and candle.
“Even though it’s not a special occasion,” our server said, “we appreciate that you came all the way from Minnesota. So here’s something extra.”
And after the check was paid, we were invited into the kitchen, where the entire brigade turned toward us and offered a collective welcome and thank you.
Choreography.
And as if scripted, while retrieving our coats, a former patient recognized me and praised me in front of my guests.
It felt staged.
But it wasn’t.
It was art.
What Choreography Looks Like in Dentistry
In a dental practice, the choreography should begin long before the patient ever sits in the chair.
It starts:
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- With information gathered on the phone when the appointment is made.
- With something overheard in the reception area.
- With a comment during hygiene.
- With something the assistant hears while the dentist is doing a hygiene check.
Imagine this.
The scheduling coordinator notes during the initial call:
“I’m really nervous about dental visits.”
That note is entered — not buried — and communicated.
In the reception area, the patient tells her husband, “I just hope this doesn’t hurt like last time.”
The assistant overhears it.
During hygiene, she mentions she’s leaving for a cruise next month.
The hygienist shares that information before the doctor walks in.
The assistant quietly tells the doctor, “She’s anxious and going on vacation soon.”
Now when the doctor enters, instead of launching into clinical findings, he says:
“I understand you’ve had some uncomfortable experiences before. Let’s make sure today is different. And we’ll take care of anything that might bother you before your cruise.”
The patient feels seen.
Not because you’re clairvoyant.
Because you’re coordinated.
That’s choreography.
The Difference Between Reaction and Anticipation
Most practices operate transactionally.
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- Patient arrives.
- Procedure performed.
- Patient leaves.
Undeniable practices operate relationally.
Information flows.
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- The front desk informs hygiene.
- Hygiene informs the assistant.
- The assistant informs the doctor.
- The doctor reinforces the message.
- The front desk follows up referencing it again.
No one says, “That’s not my department.”
Just like in that restaurant:
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- The runner knew about the toast.
- The water attendant knew about the sparkling mix-up.
- The pastry team knew about Minnesota.
- The captain closed with a tour.
- The entire kitchen staff said thank you.
No scrambling.
No grand gestures.
Just a team playing their part.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
In a world increasingly dominated by automation, AI, and distraction, attentiveness is becoming rare.
And rare things are valuable.
Your technology may be impressive.
Your clinical skills may be excellent.
But what patients remember is whether you anticipated them.
Whether you heard them.
Whether you acted on what you heard.
The final moment of our evening — a former patient praising me unexpectedly — felt choreographed.
It wasn’t.
But the entire experience had trained me to expect excellence.
That’s what true hospitality does.
It conditions people to believe that what just happened wasn’t luck. It makes switching practices, even when insurance status changes…unthinkable.
It was intentional.
There was no hidden microphone under the table.
Just a team that knew how to listen — and how to communicate.
Magic isn’t magic.
It’s design.
And in dentistry, design begins the moment the phone rings.
-Michael
Michael built a prestigious group practice in Manhattan where he focused on comprehensive, whole-body care. As he treated so many physicians, his colleagues dubbed him “The Doctor’s Dentist.”
He is a Fellow of the AGD, International Academy of Dental-Facial Esthetics, The New York Academy of Dentistry, the American College of Dentists, and a charter Fellow of the American Academy for Oral Systemic Health.
Michael teaches practice management at Temple University and speaks nationally and internationally on a variety of subjects. He and Practice Perfect Systems are the official practice management consultants to the Spencer Study Club, their Business Elite Groups.
Michael has authored 3 books, including “What the Tooth Fairy didn’t Tell You”, “Beyond Ahh: A Guide For Physician’s” and “From Here To Where; a guide for dental practice success”. He’s recently had been the chief editor of a book on Sleep Dentistry written by 24 of North America’s finest dental sleep practitioners.
Michael is on the board of 3 charitable organizations that help provide care for the indigent and people with special needs around the world.
His mission: help people who help people help more people.
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